Sometimes managers need to apply some ‘tough love’ to people who spend too much time in their offices
An employee knocks on your door. What they proceed to tell you is their third complaint this month. The complaint itself seems unreasonable and unfair to the person who is being complained about.
It's a situation many HR professionals know all too well. So what’s the best way to handle it?
“It’s very important for HR to just nip it in the bud,” people management specialist Karen Gately tells HRD.
“Otherwise they will continue to whinge, whine, carry on forever and drive everybody crazy.
“People might be saying ‘sooner or later they will settle down’ or ‘it is just so and so again’, but action should not be delayed.”
Gately said it’s important to picture your team’s spirit as a ball of energy and every time somebody is whinging and whining there’s a leak in the energy reserve.
“It really does impact people a lot so it needs to be dealt with,” said Gately.
“And you need to be willing to challenge people when their expectations are unreasonable or demanding.”
Gately added that it’s a "tough love matter" though because if you just push back at these people it will only inspire, in most circumstances, more fighting, more criticism and more complaining.
Consequently, HR needs to enter these situations with an empathetic attitude, she said.
“Their perceptions are their reality and you need to demonstrate care and concern for that, but also take a coaching approach that encourages them to be part of the solution,” Gately added.
She said that employees must do their part to address whatever it is they are complaining about.
“Sometimes HR needs to get to the point of having a conversation with people that goes along the lines of how the employee is choosing to think, how this is influencing their emotions, how this is causing them to behave in ways that undermine their credibility and losing trust in other people.”
“Ultimately, they are not going to achieve the outcomes that they want in their life and their career if they continue to see life through the lens that they do,” said Gately.
“So that particular tough love conversation can be a real opportunity for people to snap out of it and understand that they are often the most common factor in all of their own complaints.”
