Networking: The gift of the gab

Networking can form partnerships, gain referrals or make business contacts. But talking to complete strangers can be a daunting prospect even for the most confident and outgoing individuals. MPA sought help from industry personalities and experts about the best way to 'work the room'

In the romantic comedy 'Four Weddings and a Funeral', Hugh Grant's bumbling character Charles gives a perfect demonstration of how networking can go horribly wrong.

Attending one of the 'four weddings' in the film, Charles meets an old acquaintance, John, and enquires of him if he still has the same girlfriend.

When John says "no", Charles' tells him with a re-assuring smile, not to be too gloomy about it, because "rumour has it, she's (John's girlfriend) never stopped bonking someone else".

To Charles' horror, John replies that the aforementioned girlfriend is now his wife.

While most of us will have a good chuckle (or cringe) at this scene, when it comes to networking at industry events, the last thing you want to do is end up scurrying into the corner after making a fool of yourself, or heading straight for the drinks counter.

Preparation

One of the key ingredients to making a success out of a networking event is to prepare in advance and to do your homework so you know who will be there and who it is you would like to meet.

Networking coach, Jen Harwood, says the first thing she does is set some intentions.

"Most people go to events thinking they'll just show up. It's much better if they can think about why they're going, or how they're going to benefit."

Harwood says "intentions" can be to meet five people, talk about your business or just have fun.

"When you're relaxed and having fun, you'll find people will approach you and talk to you ... you're not 'working the room' but appear comfortable and outgoing," she says.

Appearing comfortable is important, but so is having something to say and this, too, you can prepare for. Women in Mortgage Broking Network (WIMBN) manager Stephanie Kennar suggests that you prepare answers for small talk questions such as 'how's business?' to ensure your response is not a dead end 'not bad'.

"Be prepared to engage in conversation - not all of it needs to be work related. Other topics you have in common will allow you to build rapport," she adds.

Scope Lending's Will Davies says it is a good idea to sit down and think - besides learning and getting information at the event - if there are other people that can help in a business sense.

"Put together a list of the parts of the business that most need help, and when you speak to people mention that these are the parts of business you're working on - you'll find that you naturally seek out the right people," he says.

Having the right mindset is one thing, but there are also practical things brokers can do to be best prepared.

Matthew Nolan, managing director of Provident Cashflow, advises that brokers, where possible, introduce themselves to people they want to meet before the conference, and suggest meeting at the event, while a quick glance through the list of presenters can help, too.

"Some people I know will be there and I'll aim to catch them after their presentation. I will seek them out specifically and know what I want to talk about," he says.

Don't leave home without ...

The most important thing to remember to bring are business cards. Kennar says brokers should ensure they bring along plenty, and to keep them at the ready.

"For a social event, men can have them in their pocket, ladies in a card holder. It looks very unprofessional to leave a conversation to rifle through a handbag or briefcase looking for one," she warns.

"If you attend many network functions, after the function, date the cards you've been given with function name to prompt you later," Kennar adds.

Other things she suggests bringing along include a slim compendium to store cards, a few brochures and some notepaper to make notes on any follow ups you promise.

When it comes to what to wear, Harwood says while it must be appropriate to the occasion, a good rule of thumb is to wear what you would wear to the office, but most importantly "be you".

"When it comes to networking, people think they have to look like everyone else and fit in - but if you can be yourself, however that is, and if you're OK with it, you're going to be even easier for people to talk to," she says, pointing out that no one wants to talk to someone who appears "fake and phoney".

Making the approach

So, you are just about to walk into a conference hall full of strangers - feeling nervous?

Kennar offers this tip: arrive early. "This is a great time to meet people before the presentations start. It's also more comfortable than walking into a crowded room where people are already engaged in conversations."

If that is not an option, Matthew Nolan suggests trying a "warm introduction" which involves finding someone you know who can introduce you to the person you want to meet. "If I don't know someone, I'll ask the event director to introduce us," he says.

When it comes to 'cold calling', Nolan says you can just go up to people and ask them who they are and where they are from - and find some common ground. Harwood says when you first start a conversation with someone new, do not talk about business, but instead ask questions like, 'Why did you come? What was interesting about the conference? Do you know anyone else here?'

Kennar adds to this by saying you should always maintain eye contact and smile when approaching someone to talk to, "then it's just a matter of extending your hand and introducing yourself".

Once you get the conversation going, it is important to ask open-ended questions, such as 'Tell me about your business' or 'What sort of clients do you service?' Kennar says you should focus on the person you are speaking to and listen attentively, with the focus on having quality conversations, not just having as many conversations as possible.

One daunting prospect can be squeezing into conversation circles, especially if you walk into a room and find that everyone has formed little cliques.

"If everyone is in circles ... then it's just a lucky dip," says Harwood. "Pick a circle; people will stand back and let you into the circle - that's general body language.

"Introduce yourself or just stand and listen to the conversation - you don't have to announce yourself, no one will think you're weird. An opportunity will come up to ask a question or you'll be asked to volunteer a thought," she says.

Overcoming shyness

While it is true that some people are more outgoing then others, even the most gregarious of people may become withdrawn and shy in certain circumstances.

Will Davies says the important thing, when feeling shy, is not to focus on yourself, but to turn your attention outward and think of what the other person may be thinking.

"The major thing is to take a big bold step, walk up and say 'hello'. No one will turn away in disgust - you've just got to do it."

Davies recalls his own bout of nerves when he attended a real estate conference, where one of the speakers was one of the most well known real estate agents in the US.

"I'd heard his CDs and after hearing him speak I went up to him, and said 'hello'. I told him it was really fantastic hearing him speak."

Davies says the response he got was fantastic: "He said if you want to have a chat, here's my card. He's a high profile guy - the moral is don't be scared to have a chat."

Harwood also had to overcome her own shyness when meeting the former head of the UN Kofi Annan at a leaders' conference in Dubai.

"I wanted to meet him, but felt a little bit tongue tied before I started; I was nervous.

To prepare, Harwood thought about what she wanted to say and why she wanted to say it: "I wanted to thank him for what he did at the UN and I wanted to ask him a question."

After practicing the question in her head, she put herself in a place in a room where she knew he would walk pass and made sure when he came close that she did not take her eyes off him.

"I wanted to connect with him ... He walked straight along; I put my hand out and introduced myself. He said 'hi' and we had a conversation".

When it comes to shyness and speaking with total strangers, Nolan says you should keep in mind that "they're people just like you and I - just normal guys".

However, when it comes to senior people, how long you speak to them is important: "Be conscious of their time - they can't have a 30-minute chat."

The card exchange

Handing over your business card is a key part of networking, but you are unlikely to make many worthwhile connections if you just start throwing your card about the room.

There are a couple of approaches you could consider. Kennar says the easiest way to hand your card over is when you introduce yourself and it will often help get the conversation started.

Nolan, takes the opposite view - first get the conversation going and exchange cards at a time when both of you are ready to do it. "It's also important to give cards to people who are relevant, rather than just burning up a lot of cards".

Harwood agrees that you should target who you give your cards to: "Don't give it to people unless they're really interested and they want information - don't give it to someone who's going to throw it away at the first opportunity. It's better to find out if there's a connection first."

Harwood has some tips for business card etiquette - she suggests keeping them in a card holder: "Have you ever seen a person who pulls cards out of his wallet? You want them to be neat."

Moving on

Have you ever found yourself networking and just wanting to move on - time is running out and you really want to speak to a certain someone who could be a great contact, but you are stuck in a circle where someone is going on and on about their holiday to Bali.

Most people feel it is almost rude to just move on, and that you should start thinking up excuses (sometimes rather silly ones) for moving on.

All experts agree, though, that this is not a great way to make an exit.

"Don't make an excuse about grabbing a drink or needing to use the bathroom," Kennar says. Rather, she advises that you wait for a break in the conversation, maintain eye contact, and say something along the lines of: 'I've really enjoyed speaking with you. Could you please excuse me while I meet with some other people?' and then make your exit.

Nolan agrees, saying that when you tell people you need the bathroom, they usually know you are just making it up.

"Rather say something like - 'this has been interesting, can we catch up another time?' "

Harwood's advice is to say something like: 'This has been fantastic but I need to keep moving on.' She says brokers should keep in mind that, in most cases, they only have an hour to network.

"If I'm in a circle where one person is dominating, just take a step back when they're not looking at you - they won't be offended. Networking is a very fluid activity," she adds.

Nolan adds: "Don't be the guy who just talks to one person ... at the end of the day, that's pretty boring."

Some definite no-no's

So what things should you avoid doing? Kennar says it is not a good idea to deliver a sales pitch about your product or service or to make judgments about whether the person you are talking to can give you business.

Being aggressive and pushy is also not a good idea. "Never barge in on a conversation that others are having. Walk over discreetly and wait to be introduced to the conversation," she says.

Of course, many networking events come with an opportunity to enjoy a glass of wine or bottle of beer, but over indulging can be disastrous - there is nothing worse than staggering around a room full of business peers with your shirt hanging out, slurring your words.

"I love a beer like everyone else, but I always make sure I don't drink too much - you don't want to look like a class goose. Remember, it's a work event, not just an opportunity to meet up with mates. Make sure you drink responsibly," Nolan says.

Nolan says he recounts a few events where people have gone up to very senior industry people, introduced themselves and then asked, 'Who are you?'

"We're talking the likes of Mark Bouris, the people you think everyone knows, but after a few beers..."

When it's all over

So, you have met lots of people, exchanged ideas and are feeling very happy about your networking efforts, so what do you do to get the most value out of your efforts.

There are many ways to get the ball rolling.

Kennar says if you mentioned an interesting product or service in a conversation, you could send that person the web link. The thing to remember, she says is to "give without expectation and help that person achieve their goal or solve their problem".

Other options are to call and arrange a coffee, rather than sending brief e-mail responses. "Call people you have connected with to say 'hi' without any expectation of doing business immediately," she says.

What is crucial is getting in touch promptly after the event, as pretty soon the pile of business cards and faces will all just melt into one and you will forget who everyone is.

"If I met someone that I found interesting, they'll get an e-mail from me the next day, saying: 'I'm looking forward to having another discussion or chat over the phone at some point'," Nolan says

Similarly Davies recounts meeting a broker at an MFAA conference who he got on very well with. "He was particularly keen on finding out about marketing worships. We had a meeting three months after the conference - but we sent each other an e-mail soon and kept in close contact."

Keep an open mind

So, now all you have to do is get out there, get mingling, and be yourself. It is important, though, to not just focus on meeting the big personalities and senior figures. People from all walks of life can be interesting, and you never know what impact they may have on your business further down the line.

"Have an open mind to who you're meeting," says Kennar, "and don't discount people who you think you may not be able to do business with, as every person has a network and centre of influence and you may be able to assist each other in the future."

"As well as gaining potential business contacts, you can receive a positive shot by sharing stories with people in similar positions. For sole trader mortgage brokers, work can be very insular. Networking with your peers can provide informal mentoring, support and acknowledgement that you are on track."

THREE EVENTS FOR BROKERS TO LOOK OUT FOR:

• 25-26 June 2008, Australian Brokers Forum, Gold Coast
• 25-26 September 2008, Australian Brokers Forum, Sydney
• 26 September 2008, Australian Mortgage Awards (AMAs), Sydney

BROKER FORUMS

The Australian Brokers Forum brings brokers, aggregators, mortgage managers, lenders and industry associations together. Leaders of the forum will discuss and present forecasts on economic trends and opportunities, updates on legislation and regulation and market research.

TOP 10 HIGHLIGHTS:

• forecasting economic opportunities
• highlighting industry trends
• reporting on market research
• positioning your business strategically
• updates on regulation and legislation
• evaluating debt markets
• building a sustainable business model
• managing consolidation and diversification
• participating in live panel discussions

FIVE REASONS TO ATTEND

• capitalise on market research from leading industry experts
• receive forecasts on economic trends and opportunities in 2008/09
• workshop on building a sustainable business model and your bottom line
• participate in an open panel discussion
• networking with BDMs and lenders - speed networking

FREE STUFF

• free industry expo
• free drinks and canap‚s
• free speed networking
• free workshops

For more information, visit www.australianbrokersforum.com

AUSTRALIAN MORTGAGE AWARDS

The industry's best compete for the top prizes in the Australian Mortgage Awards. The awards cover 22 categories including awards for lenders, BDMs and brokers. Even if you are not a finalist, it is an opportunity to network with all the key players while enjoying good food, drinks, entertainment and live music. In 2008, there will be an 'Eighties' theme. Go to www.australianmortgageawards.com.au for more information about this year's awards.

ORGANISING YOUR OWN EVENT...

If you want to host your own networking event, you should make it as interesting and unique as possible.

Provident Cashflow certainly did something different last year when it hosted a Christmas party in July, complete with Santa Clause, presents and snow bunnies.

Matthew Nolan, managing director of Provident Cashflow, says that just having drinks is not very interesting - hence the unusual theme.

He also says you should aim for a great location - "an office is fine, but an interesting spot is always better".

Timing is also important. "You need to give people sufficient notice as diaries can fill up," Nolan says, adding that this is really important when it comes to Christmas parties.

"When it comes to Christmas functions, you need to send out invitations at the start of November ... and make sure you follow up with attendees; get your BDMs to follow up as well."

And while it is important to have a good time, Nolan says you must make sure that staff does not spend the night chatting to their mates but are networking themselves.

...and getting people to network

Women in Mortgage Broking Network (WIMBN) does more than just encourage those attending its events to network, it actively compels them to get involved.

Every table of delegates at a WIMBN event nominates a spokesperson who goes around gathering information about each person seated (where they are from, something they enjoy doing, someone famous they have met, etc).

Then the spokesperson has to introduce each member of their table to the room - usually 10 to 15 people.

WIMBN manager Stephanie Kennar says this puts a face to everyone in the room and is especially helpful for people who do not know anyone at the event or who are quiet by nature.

SEVEN NETWORKING TIPS FOR SHY PEOPLE

Networking is not a normal or easy activity for many people; it is a skill that must be learned and appreciated. In business and life generally, a majority of success comes through talking to others and involving them in your ideas, plans or projects. That is what happens when we network - we connect with others.

I work with many business owners, sales professionals and executives in the area of networking and sales growth, and many say they are shy. Here are seven ways you can overcome shyness and get fantastic results:

1. Be yourself
Shy people become intimidated and nervous because they think a successful networker is the happy butterfly. This is not true. Let's face it, the happy butterfly people love to talk and someone has got to listen to them! Yes, shy people have the advantage in networking as they are usually listening far more than they are talking. So at an event, as people talk and move around, you will be able to hear opportunity, understand what people need and be in a position to do something about it.

2. Set intentions
When you attend a networking event always have an intention. This is vitally important, as it is your own secret mission. Setting intentions can be easy and fun. They can be big and small. The intention you set reminds you the whole time why you are there and compels you into action to make sure you get it.

3. Pre-event research
You may be shy, however, but you have a choice in being stupid and putting your foot in it! If you want to avoid saying embarrassing things at an event because you have been too overwhelmed by coming to the event in the first place and are nervous to speak up, do a little bit of research beforehand.

4. Speak up
When you hear, in conversation, an opportunity or an idea that fits into your area of knowledge or business, speak up. That is your time to say something. It might be a question, statement of fact or opinion. You MUST speak. Being shy does not give you permission not to speak at all; it gives you permission not to be the happy, chatty butterfly networker.

5. Focus questions
To start conversation, always have several 'Focus questions' that you know off by heart that will open up conversation and, more importantly, direct the conversation towards your area of expertise and intention for the event. For example, say you had the intention of meeting three people at an event that you could do business with. Your memorised Focus question could be, 'So, what's the biggest challenge you're currently dealing with in your company?' Now, not everyone is going to provide relevant answers to your line of work or interest. They may not be a potential lead, however, they are going to find out about you and what your expertise is (which is excellent) and you are going to find out some very interesting answers and information about the people you meet.

6. Direct conversation
Many times we get caught up in someone else's story about an adventure, holiday or mishap. While many stories are interesting, there will be times when you are bored, annoyed or frustrated that this one person is talking so much. Learning how to direct conversation is a handy skill as you can gently move the focus off the other person and create group discussion or an opportunity for you to speak. To direct the conversation, ask a Focus question when there is a natural pause in the discussion and say quietly to the person or group, 'I have a question I'd like to ask, do you mind if we take the conversation in a different direction?'

7. Use business cards
Business cards are the essential tool for successful networking. Many shy people do not like giving their cards to others because it is a 'pushy' thing to do. One way to get around this is to ask the other person for their card first. Simply saying, 'Do you have a card?' will work and if they are interested in you, they will ask for yours. The other essential rule about business cards is to take your business cards with you everywhere you go.

Jen Harwood is the author of 'The Art of Networking'. For more information about her book or networking training workshops, visit www.artofnetworking.com

NETWORKING ONLINE

Brokers looking to make contact with potential business partners or referral sources can do so without having to leave their desks.

Online business-specific networking sites are growing in popularity, with the likes of LinkedIn (www.linkedin.com) and Australian-based, My Referral Network (www.myreferralnetwork.com.au) attracting more and more interest.

At last count, My Referral Network had attracted 67 brokers to its network.

Sean Urquhart, who set up the site in September last year, said the idea came after he attended numerous breakfast networking meetings last year.

While they were beneficial, he found that he could spend a lot of time attending such events without making a clear connection with anyone.

Urquhart, a partner in a mid-tier accounting firm, said the idea behind My Referral Network was to develop a website that allows people to choose the type of business they want to network with.

"What I'm really trying to create is a dating site for businesses.

"When you join the site as a member you briefly describe your business, listing any specialisations it has. You then choose your ideal partner by completing the section entitled 'Type of business I want to network with?'

"This allows other users to see if they're the right match with your business," he explains.

Contact is easy. Members can e-mail other members or use the Chat forum.

"Our membership base is predominately up and down the eastern seaboard. However, it's spreading to other parts of Australia," Urquhart says.

"The best part about our site is that it's totally free for all. We do anticipate starting business networking events in coming months to our members. Events such as speed networking seem to be the rage at the moment."