MI - News reviews the most ‘important’ release of the week.
Someone get me a Bucket
Someone who worked ‘in marketing’ once told me there was an art to writing a quality press release. The person in question then showed me the labours of his art which as far as I could make out meant putting a number of words in bold text and indiscriminately using exclamation marks at the end of every sentence! Hardly what you would consider the marketing equivalent of Van Gogh.
As far as I can tell, another ‘trick of the trade’ is to find a tenuous cultural link which you then use to ‘sell’ your release in the first few lines and then promptly ignore for the rest of the text.
So, step forward Alliance & Leicester who have used the cutting-edge cultural icon of ‘Hyacinth Bucket’ to present their latest movingimproving index.
Apparently Brits are a ‘nation of Hyacinth Buckets – committed to [wait for it] keeping up appearances by sprucing up their homes in the run up to Christmas’. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Ah Keeping Up Appearances – what a show that was, eh?. Who could forget those crazy characters like Hyacinth and erm...her husband and er...the bloke who used to be in Coronation Street.
But MI – News can exclusively reveal why the team at A&L have chosen to associate themselves with a sitcom that makes Last of the Summer Wine seem cutting-edge. And yes I do know that Roy Clarke wrote both. The reason behind this marriage made in hell is that A&L’s head of mortgages Paul Cooper is a close personal friend of Hyacinth. Delightful! Sheridan!
In other press release news, our sincere congratulations must go to Legal & General who have been named Britain’s “Most Admired Insurance Company” by Management Today magazine. An award which must be right up there with Britain’s Favourite Traffic Warden.
