MI - News reviews the most ‘important’ release of the week.
I have come to the belief that we are now entering what can only be termed ‘the end times’. Life as we know it is about to end, the catalyst being this nation’s obsession with ‘celebrity’ and the lives that these ‘showbiz gods’ lead. The British way of life is soon to come crashing down around us and when it does you can lay the blame squarely at the door of Heat magazine and their ilk.
The Cheltenham & Gloucester (C&G) press office are the latest to jump aboard the celebrity bandwagon hitching a ride with its ground-breaking research into which celebrity we Brits would most/least like to live next to. Kill me now.
After his triumph in the last series of I’m A Celebrity… Joe Pasquale tops the list as the celebrity most Brits would want to share a garden fence with. Clearly the majority of respondents didn’t see Pasquale’s seminal comedy sketch show with ‘funnyman’ Bradley Walsh in the 1990s. It forced the Oxford English Dictionary to redefine the word ‘comedy’ and not in a good way. Probabaly the least funny show I’ve ever seen.
There’s a reason why Pasquale was on Celebrity – he couldn’t get any work as a comedian. If he was next door he would’nt be popping round your gaff imparting witticisms every day, he’s more likely to be sat in his garden playing with his ‘Jacobs’. And who would want to see that?
Other celebs who can expect Joe Public to up sticks soon and move next door include ‘northern funny man’ Peter Kay and ‘glamour girl’ Jordan which presumably means that our survey respondents would be happy to also live in the same postal disctrict as music munchkin Peter Andre(x). Insania.
And the moral of this press release? “Having good neighbours is a great asset,” says Esther O’Reilly-Cain. Thanks Esther. As a man who regularly feels the need to go round and firebomb his neighbours and their loud TVs/stereos, I couldn’t agree more. Apparently over 3,000 people took part in this survey. I intend to visit each and everyone of them to put them out of their misery.
