“Don’t blame it on the product,
Don’t blame it on the brand name,
Don’t blame it on the market,
Blame it on the PR.
I just can’t, I just can’t, I just can’t read this release...”
MI – News reviews the most ‘important’ release of the week.
I’m not sure exactly what security measures the Jackson Five household take with their garden furniture in their Doncaster holiday home but on seeing this release by the Halifax you can bet they’ll be on the blower faster than Jacko can moonwalk down a garden path shouting “jam’on”.
So lock-up your patio chairs, hide those gnomes and chain-up your hoe, the Halifax reports there is a one in ten chance of something being stolen from your garden by ‘sticky-green-fingered thieves’, especially it seems up North.
Top of the league for garden stealing disgrace is Leeds, the first time they have been top of any table for a good while, as the North sweeps the board with a full top ten of shame while the majority of Londoners can only look on in envy at the dream of having a garden to be robbed from.
I blame Dimmock, Titchmarsh, Don, and that brass band on Ground Force for winding up the little tea-leaves by encouraging these fancy features. What’s wrong with just a bit of grass and a few bluebells anyway? But fear not, the Halifax has some ‘useful’ tips up its PR sleeve.
The FSA’s ‘Policing the Perimeter’ takes on a whole new meaning with this ‘incisive’ advice from David Norton, head of marketing at Halifax general insurance, who says: “Always lock items away in a secure garage or shed – never leave them on visible display”. Genius.
Oh, and while you’re at it, make sure you don’t leave your front door open, the keys in the lock of your car or your wallet trailing behind you on a ten-foot long piece of string hanging from your back pocket.
Just get a big dog to live in the garden and train it to bite anyone in a black and white stripy top, mask and bag with swag written on it. That should do the trick.
Hero to zero
Each issue we ask an industry expert to pick out the good and the bad in the industry. The ugly know who they are. This week Mike Fitzgerald of Brentchase Financial Services dishes out the brickbats and bouquets
Heroes
There seems to be a current deficit of heroes in the mortgage industry, especially among certain lenders. Every day we read letters from brokers complaining about lenders’ service.
One lender we spoke to this week said it is taking a month to look at applications; no wonder brokers are getting fed-up. Just take a look at any mortgage magazine and the letter pages are full of complaining brokers.
Another major problem that we face in our industry is slow service from solicitors. It is no good getting a quick offer (from some lenders) and then waiting ages for the solicitors to get their act together.
One legal firm that go against that trend is Goldsmith Williams. This firm claims to be the broker’s friend and in my experience it has got everything right. It offers a service that is hard to beat at a competitive quoted price.
How many brokers have phoned a local solicitors in order to find out if a case is nearing completion only to be told that the “solicitors are out at lunch” and will ring you back when they feel like it.
Many brokers work on the weekend and Goldsmiths are available up to 8pm weekdays and 4.30pm Saturday and Sunday. It is refreshing to see a company keeping its promises about service.
Zero
With the election imminent the zeroes of this week just has to be politicians. For the past few years we in the mortgage industry have been bombarded by regulation after regulation and although some blame the FSA we must remember who is really in charge.
This is why it is so gratifying to see politicians grovelling to get our votes. They will promise the earth to get re-elected and the thickness of their skins never fail to amaze me.
One thing I would like to know is why politicians do not have to give a “Reasons Why” or “Letter of Suitability” for some of the law they pass. I think it would be a good idea and would be very well received by brokers everywhere.
We have heard over the past few weeks that some members of the opposition have stated they will reduce the burden of compliance and regulatory regimes on many of our industries if they come to power.
Next week we will see a counter offer from the government stating the same. Who can you believe?
Monday madness
What are you going to do this Bank Holiday?
Well whatever you’ve planned you might just have to think again – I’ve just been on the PR hotline and here’s what not to do.
Don’t go on holiday – According to moneysupermarket.com, if you’re overseas on holiday then you’re probably getting ripped off using your ‘flexible friend’.
Don’t do DIY – Research from AA Insurance say it’s the biggest DIY weekend of the year but adds that arguments over DIY account for nearly a quarter of all domestic rows, so if you want a barney put up a shelf.
Don’t go out on your bike – The Halifax has warned that the bank holiday is prime bike stealing time.
Luckily there are no warnings about having a couple of shandies down the pub but remember the old adage – everyone like’s a drink but nobody likes A. Beveridge.
Happy holiday.
