was happy in the haze of a drunken hour,
But heaven knows I’m miserable now,
I was looking for a press release, and then I found a press release,
And heaven knows I’m miserable now.”
MI reviews the most ‘important’ release of the week.
Oh crappy day, oh crappy day
Are you happy? Are you really happy? Do you look at the life you have built and feel a warm glow inside? You do? Well bully for you, you smug piece of…[INSERT EXPLETIVE]. No wonder you’re so happy, you probably haven’t thought about the plight of millions of others.
You’re too busy sitting in your garden sipping a glass of wine or nipping over to Spain to stay in your holiday home.
Think about other people for a change. What about the millions of ‘glass-half-empty’ people? Who do you think keeps psychiatrists in gainful employment? Not those who’re happy with their lot, I can tell you.
But, if you are so very happy then it seems, as Michael Jackson would say, you are not alone. Because, according to ‘research’ from Virgin Money Life Insurance, 73 per cent of Brits ‘say they feel happy with life’. Well, if I had Richard Branson’s money, I’d feel happy too.
I’ve seen a few press releases in my time but this one must break the record for the number of tenuous celebrity links it has crow-barred in.
Apparently, we’re not a nation of ‘Victor Meldrews’ – I don’t believe it; we’d be really unhappy if we split up from a spouse or partner, much like Jennifer Aniston must feel; having a baby would make us happy like ‘mums-to-be Anna Friel and Jordan’; and only the over-60s chose getting married as the happiest time of their lives which is why [wait for it] ‘Elton John has decided to tie the knot with long-time love David Furnish’. And I thought Sad Songs say so much?
But just in case you were feeling happy after hearing this news, here comes Virgin Money spokesperson Jason Wyer Smith to remind us that we’re all going to die and, by the way, do you have life insurance?
Says cheerful Jason: “Having the right life insurance provides financial security for family members and reassures you that loved one’s will be cared for, no matter what the future may bring.”
Absolutely Jason, it also reminds us that there’s a point to this release. To sell life insurance. We’re all H-A-P-P-Y now.
Hero to zero
Each issue we ask an industry expert to pick out the good and the bad in the industry. The ugly know who they are. This week David Finley of The Woolwich dishes out the brickbats and bouquets
Hero
My hero is Alan Greenspan, the very influential chairman of the US Federal Reserve who made comment this week that the US economy was growing at a healthy rate; this not only helped our American cousins but brought some relief to our own stock market thus giving greater stability to the financial sector as a whole.
A stable market and stable economy, and underlying confidence in future prospects can only be a good thing. Alongside this, the Bank of England deserves applause for keeping rates on hold for the last ten months at 4.75
per cent after four successive rises in 2004. This has taken the heat out of the property market and has helped confidence in the UK housing market continue to grow.
Zero
While I, no doubt like most of the readers, depend on the housing market to be active for my living and a flurry of activity in the first-time buyer’s sector is greatly welcomed, I cannot agree with recent comment from Evan Davis, BBC economics editor, who said “I would not mind if my current property fell from its current inflated value to, say, 25p”.
I am sure such comment was meant to stimulate debate but to drastically reduce house prices would mean no soft landing but a monumental crash for the market.
I for one do not wish to go back to the bad old days of negative equity and borrowers dropping off the keys to lenders for properties which are seen as a liability and not an asset. A significant drop in house prices has a far wider impact on our economy than simply making it easier for first-time buyers to get onto the housing ladder and a controlled ‘righting’ of the market to a stable norm will benefit all, not just a few.
To imply we need a significant repricing in the market is dangerous even if it is just to encourage discussion. However Mr Davis, if you do feel your property price is over-inflated and you are happy to reduce the asking price, say to 50p, then this Scotsman is always happy to snap up a bargain.
Gatecrasher’s Annonymous
In the first of an irregular series we turn the spotlight on those industry figures who are spotted where they really shouldn’t be.
First up are GE Home Lending duo Bob Sturges and Liz Walton who inexplicably turned up at Skipton’s trade journalist karaoke evening. Passing themselves off as drunk (convincing) journalists (unconvincing), Walton took control of the microphone while Sturges proceeded to call
the editor of this esteemed publication by the wrong name. The devil’s
in the detail Bob.
Sturges is commended though for turning up with a copy of Mortgage Introducer under his arm. Seems like it’s the only invite you need nowadays.
