It takes 21 days to break or make a habit. However much you dislike it (getting up to go for a run first thing in the morning, for example) after 21 days, it is easier to do it than not to do it.
‘The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.’
How to form and change habits
Clarify your basic values – these should be the true roots of our habits. Determine what are important and have priority in our lives.
Review personal habits – determine which ones are compatible with our basic values and which ones are not. For example, you may have the habit of complaining about the traffic or the weather and therefore make yourself miserable. You may decide that being positive is a better habit – lets face it you can’t change the weather or the traffic.
Make a decision to form the habit – make it clear and decisive, for the clarity will be crucial during times of temptation. You may even announce it to your family or friends so that you will become publicly committed.
Seek the co-operation of family and friends – their support and encouragement can help a lot, for example, the decision to exercise regularly will be easier if someone does it with you.
Repeat the behaviour regularly until it becomes a habit, this is a crucial key – do not make exceptions or excuses that will make you skip the behaviour. This weakens the new habit. Some habits will take weeks or months to settle in, hence be persistent during the first few weeks or month.
‘The second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.’
How to change habits
Habits can be changed, even those, which are deeply ingrained. Here are some approaches:
Be aware of the habit and decide that you want to remove or replace it.
Use substitution – supplant the habit with one that is incompatible with the old, e.g. a smoker chews something when he feels the desire to smoke.
Change the environment – get away from the source of the stimuli that feeds the habit, e.g. avoiding the company of drinkers/going to the pub to stop alcohol intake.
Encouragement. Introduce a pleasant result, such as spouse or friends, when an undesirable habit is not done, or when an opposite habit is exhibited. Positive encouragement is better than punishment, for punishment can sometimes be resented and may even strengthen the habit through retaliation.
The danger of habits
While we regulate our habits, we must also be aware of a potential disadvantage of habits in general. When we are too fixed and rooted in our habits, even constructive habits, we may lose spontaneity, creativity and may find ourselves unable to adjust to changing circumstances. While good habits are extremely useful slaves, we must take care they will not imprison us exclusively in their worlds.
‘Every grown-up man consists wholly of habits, although he is often unaware of it and even denies having any habits at all.’
I think we would all agree with that, wouldn’t we girls?
Jo has had 20 years’ experience in the mortgage industry working for lenders and insurance companies. For further interview tips and advice please look at the website www.recruit-u.com
Jo is director of E-recruit Ltd
