JPMorgan tweeted earlier this week that they were taking questions on the hashtag #ASKJPM. Predictably, it all went horribly wrong.
Generally? They turn to the unpaid intern for advice. They ask them what they would do. The intern, trying to do right, suggests a Twitter Q&A.
The salmon-suit-wearing PR execs, more out of touch with reality than their fashion-sense, think that is a great idea. They’ve heard of this "Twitter" before. They read about it on Yahoo News! They’re "plugged in" to the "information superhighway".
And so, throwing caution, common sense, and any understanding of the internet to the wind, they ask the Twittersphere to Tweet them questions.
The latest victim? JPMorgan, who earlier this week tweeted that they were taking questions on the hashtag #ASKJPM.
The results were, as could be expected, hilarious. Below are MPA’s top picks.
How much do politicians cost? #AskJPM
— goodstar (@Goodstar72) November 14, 2013
#askjpm Any tips on robbing billions of dollars?
— Joe Siracusa (@joesiracusa1989) November 14, 2013
#AskJPM How much does crime pay (rounded to the nearest billion)?
— Sharon (@VestigesLCRI) November 14, 2013
Are you planning another Global Economic Meltdown in the near future?#AskJPM
— goodstar (@Goodstar72) November 14, 2013
I care about others. Any advice on how to make it stop? #AskJPM
— Ashley (@JustAshle) November 14, 2013
How big a shock is it to learn that, outside the gates of your detached, ignorant community, everyone hates you to death? #AskJPM
— Pilot.Light. (@Hanksingle) November 14, 2013
#AskJPM You are aware that everybody hates you, right? You aren't? No. Oh. Ok.
— David Gaffen (@davidgaffen) November 13, 2013
What's the best way to get blood stains out of a clown suit? #AskJPM
— Eddy Elfenbein (@EddyElfenbein) November 13, 2013
Every time another person loses their home to an illegal foreclosure, does a bell ring? #AskJPM
— Amy Hunter (@amy10506) November 13, 2013
How are you planning to spend the savings made from firing your social media team? #askJPM
— Stanley Pignal (@spignal) November 13, 2013
Before answer-time even began, JPMorgan tweeted the following:
Tomorrow's Q&A is cancelled. Bad Idea. Back to the drawing board.
— J.P. Morgan (@jpmorgan) November 14, 2013
Can you really blame them?